My Boyfriend Says I Am Too Thin

So, you have to know John to know how he is.  I met him right after I had my youngest daughter, who will be 16 next month.  I was well over 200lbs at the time.  He has known me fat, thin, fat, thin, fat, thin, fat and thin again.  He is the type that prefers "thicker" women.  He is not a chubby chaser by any means, he is just attracted to heavier women.  He never said a thing to me when I was gaining weight.  When I had my first WLS he told me not to get too thin.  I did, for a short time but then bounced back right away and stayed under 150lbs for about 5 years.  Then I started putting on weight again uncontrollably and he still never said a thing.  He really did not seem happy when I told him I was having a revision but he didn't say anything.  He knew I was doing it for my health.
So for him to make a comment about my weight is, to me, drastic.  He just never has.
He wants me to gain about 10lbs.  He didn't demand it or anything like that, he just said he likes me better that way.
The truth is I am fine at about 135lbs.  I remember one time I went to Jenny Craig and they asked me my ideal weight and I said 135lbs.  The only reason I am letting myself get this low is because of the "bounce back" that many people have.  With my first WLS I got down to 120 and then started bouncing back so I don't know if 120 is a weight I could stay at, although about 20 years ago, after my divorce, I got down to about 118lbs and stayed there for about a year, until I got pregnant again.  But I am 20 years older now.
I am not in dieting mode.  I am not tracking my calories right now.  I eat full fat things.  I use half and half in my decaf coffee.  I just make sure I get in at least 100 grams of protein and stay away from refined carbs.  I don't snack but I feel like I am eating all the time because of the protein.  I am comfortable with the way I am eating and figured I would just eat this way until I stabilized and maybe bounced.
Part of me wants to continue to stay the course and see where I wind up.  I really don't want to make a conscious effort to gain weight because I have a feeling that I won't need to, that it will happen naturally after I am out of my first year.
Of course I want my boyfriend to be attracted me.  Part of the reason I haven't cut my hair is because he likes my hair long.  I don't think he would stop having sex with me if I don't gain weight or anything. 
Did anyone else have their significant other tell them to stop losing weight or that they were getting too thin?  How do you handle that?  I am used to the opposite scenario, having a guy worry about me gaining too much weight, not losing too much.

Yeah, I got all that from DH. We can't win, can we?  Anyway, I explained to him over and over that I really wasn't in control at that point and that this WL thing is a process and that I would have some bounce back, just be patient. 

Good luck and don't try to stop yourself or gain a little for him, this is about your health.

--gina
 

Being too thin is not  a fun thing either.  Since all my complication surgeries, I have lost so much weight that I am way too thin and all my doctors keep telling me that I need to gain weight.  No matter how much I eat, I just can't gain anything.  I finally stopped losing but gaining just ain't happening.  I eat 5 times per day, larger meals than before.  They are really high calorie foods.  I also eat junk foods and nothing works.  It is really terrible.  I never thought in my liftetime, especially after having WLS, I would eat like this and be trying to gain weight.

I hear this all the time too.  From Hubby as well as others.  Sigh...... where was these people when I was obese?  They didnt express their feelings/thoughts/opinions back then!    I just tell them that Im at a normal BMI and my Drs are happy with my weight.  My labs are good.  Im healthy.  I think it just takes them some time to get used to us at a thinner weight.   Good luck!  Cindy

I think for you saying to him what you said to us---(and probably already have said) should drive home the point--that being 'thin' now is about being healthy going forward when your metabolism changes again.  I am sure being on the opposite side of WLS patients is a eye opener everyday.  Perhaps he just wants to keep you 'grounded' and make sure its about health still--- lots of WLS patients end up with eating disorders. 

I must have woke up on the wrong side of the bed---Because when you first asked that I immediate thought- if my DH told me I was to thin I wouldn't care.  Mean- I know--but my weight has nothing / NADA thing to do with our relationship.  I love my husband when he was thinner, obese, in sickness and health (and hes put me through some **** I tell you).  I have always, always, always been very independent.  I don't like him picking me out things, buying me things (which he likes to do), or controlling me in anyway.  So if that came from MY husband I would see it as control (cause I am loonie like that)- and I would probably be inclined to not give two craps.  DH mentioned I was losing my butt (which he likes) and I just simply said 'yeah I noticed that too".  He mentioned my thighs the other day- and I said 'yep everything is just re-distributing right now' 

I can totally see the need for acceptance (everyone does not matter what they say)---and I know we all need and want to keep people in our lives that love us for who we are (big-small-in between)---I believe he does--and I think HIS comment was concern in compassion for the person he cares about--YOU.  Keep him involved and educated in your journey and your decisions and I think he will be A okay with it all-he sounds like a keeper. LOL

My DH used to tell me all of the time that I was getting to thin but I think it was just because he was worried about me.  Now that I'm 2 1/2 years out and he can see that I am healthier I think the worrying has stopped.  He just needed to get used to the new me. 

My husband worries that I am still losing weight. I've had a bad cold for about a week. I am now at 110 lbs. He has been reminding me constantly that I need to eat. Before surgery, I was very curvy. I can totally relate to how you are feeling. He still adores me but he doesn't seem to grab me as much. He tells me I am beautiful all the time though. Remember love is more than physical...it's an emotional state of mind as well. My husband has loved me through thick and thin literally. You will bounce back a little and things will feel a little more close to normal. Good luck to you!